The lack of strong boundaries is one of the chief causes of stress, overwork and overwhelm in the business environment.

Clearly set boundaries help other people to understand how you want to be treated. They are the rules, if you like, that apply when others deal with you and your business. Many of us aren’t good at establishing boundaries, something that probably stems from way back in our childhoods.

As children we are often taught that other people’s needs are more important than ours. That we should obey others without question. And we were rewarded for pleasing other people and sacrificing our own needs. Sometimes we do not set boundaries because we dislike confrontation or anger, or because we think we will hurt other peoples feelings. If this behaviour of putting ourselves last carries over into our adult lives, it’s likely to stop us from telling other people what we want.

The good news is that setting boundaries is a learnable skill, and one that can make a huge positive difference to the quality of your life.

The first step is to identify which boundaries you need to set. These seven are suggested for easing the pressure on you in your business life:

1. Learn to say no.

Don’t feel uncomfortable about saying no to an unreasonable request. If it is going to have a negative impact on you, or you don’t really want to do something, then just say no. And don’t feel as thought you need to explain why. After all, we don’t offer an explanation when we say yes.

2. Be clear about what you do and what you don’t do.

If something is outside the bounds of your normal scope of work, then simply say so. It is easy to get caught up agreeing to do unusual things or one-offs that take up a lot of extra time. Your time is valuable and you want to spend it accordingly.

3. When it’s OK for people to contact you.

If you get customers and suppliers calling you at all hours then you need to establish this boundary. You can take control in this situation by looking for a win-win outcome. For example, “I know that you would like to speak with me. Right now, I am spending time with my family. What time tomorrow can I call you back? I guarantee that you’ll only need to say this once, and people will get the message very quickly.

4. Payment terms.

If people aren’t respecting your payment terms you need to let them know that this is unacceptable. Be clear upfront about what your terms are (yes – actually advise new customers verbally), and consider using payment options that give you control. For example, the timing of credit card deductions and direct debits are controlled by you, rather than by the customer.

5. Working hours (Value your own time).

You are in control of your diary, not your customers. If you find yourself consistently working excessive hours, or longer than you want, then you are taking on more work than you can manage. Be honest about how long it will take you to complete the job. For example, “ I can start working on this on Wednesday, which means it will be ready for you on Friday afternoon”.

6. The way in which people can speak to you.

Some people use aggressive or abusive language to get what they want. You need to let them know that this isn’t OK. For example, “ I can see that you are upset. We do need to discuss this but I am not prepared to do so while you are angry. Let me call you tomorrow at a better time”.

7. Pricing.

There are times when we are happy to provide a discount -to valued and regular customers. At other times we can just get talked into it before we realize what has happened. Be very clear in your own mind about the circumstances in which you are prepared to drop your prices, and those in which you are not. And just stick to your guns. You’ll find that most people are just trying it on to see if it will work.

The bottom line in setting boundaries is asking for what we really want. There is no need to defend, debate or over-explain your boundaries. If questioned, simply say something like “it’s a business decision”. When faced with resistance, repeat your statement or request. Stay strong. If you give in, you are inviting people to ignore your needs.

Each of us has a right to set boundaries. . While others may not always get what they want in the short term, you will garner more respect from them and for yourself by standing up for your needs.

It’s a common problem and we’ve all seen it – business owners that are just ‘too busy’ all of the time, and as a result, do not enjoy the success in business they had hoped for. Let’s not kid ourselves, there is a lot to focus on: technology, employees, sales, marketing and so on. These functions are essential and need to be well organised and managed.

But there is a second aspect to business success that is often overlooked – the effectiveness of the person running the show. Businesses are a reflection of the people who run them. If those people are ‘too busy’, stressed, or poorly organised, then these characteristics are reflected back in the business. The underlying behaviour and values of the business owner drive how much control they need, how they will delegate and how they use their time.

Growth of the business and the business owner need to match up.

Any business that does not grow will ultimately decline. This may sound black and white but it is true. Growth can mean different things depending on the owner. For some it may be growth in revenues, for others it may be expanding product lines, or increasing the distribution channels. Whatever the definition of growth is, if it is not well thought out and planned, the business will soon become marginal and eventually fail, dragging the owner with it.

If the business is to grow, then the owner has to take the necessary time to learn the new roles and skills that a growing business will demand. Imagine for one moment where you would like your business to be in 5 years time. Then ask yourself: “Is it possible that I can be exactly the same person in 5 years that I am today and fulfil that growth strategy for my business? The answer has to be no. Business owners need to be prepared for new learning and taking on new, different, and bigger responsibilities – without fear or hesitation. The reality is the owner will be the limiting factor in growth – the business can only grow to the extent to which the owner grows.

When owners feel out of sorts, overworked, and like they are running faster and faster, it is almost always because they have fallen victim to the reactive “let’s go faster” management approach. They are forced to live from problem to problem, and as a result are unsuccessful and may become unwilling to see their own (lack of) self-management as part of the problem.

The major reasons that business owners don’t manage themselves better are:

* Being comfortable – we all do what we are comfortable with – it’s human nature. So we keep doing what we have always done.
* Not knowing what else is possible.
* Not knowing that there are other ways to do what they are doing.
* Actually getting energy (and maybe some identity) from being stressed and overworked.

There are 5 steps to take in the road to better self-management:

1. Clarify personal goals for the future.

Many business owners lose sight of these as they get immersed in the day-to-day running of the business. Articulating your personal goals can reveal any issues about whether these support or conflict with their business goals. These goals need to cover both the immediate and future plans. What do you want to achieve personally in the next 1 to 2 years. And where do you want to be in ten years time?

2. Clarify the business goals.

Having spent some time expressing personal goals for the future, take a look at your business goals and rethink them. Are your personal and business goals working together, or are they working against each other? If they do seem to be mutually exclusive, what choices will you make next? Putting the business goals ahead of your personal ones will inevitably lead to stress and feelings of overwhelm. Determine instead whether the business goals can be re-oriented or modified to support what you would like to achieve personally.

3. Identify the owner’s ideal role 3 years from now.

Think about who you want to be – what role you want to have in the business – in 3 years time. Will you still be doing the majority of work? Will you have others doing the work and your capacity is more advisory? Or perhaps you would like to remove yourself completely from the operational parts of the business and focus on product or business development?

Thinking about what you want as an owner in the future can give you great insights into what strategies you may need to put in place now.

4. Conduct a detailed personal time analysis for a one-week period.

This is where the rubber hits the road. If you really are true to yourself when you do this exercise you will learn a lot about where the potential lies for making changes. How are you really spending your time? Break your day down into at least half hour slots and write down exactly what you do in each 30 minutes.

5. Create a plan of action for the next 30 days.

Based on the data from steps 1-4, create an action plan to cover the next 30 days. Your plan should include:

• steps to align personal and business goals
• strategy for moving to the role the owner wants to play in the business in the future
• analysis of the results of the one-week detailed monitoring exercise
• deciding which activities add the most value and planning to spend time on those
• identify how much time is spent on low value activity and planning to delegate or stop doing those things

There is never a better time than right now for planning to do things differently. Take charge of yourself and your business by choosing a direction that allows you to meet both your personal and business goals, and still retain your sanity!

Are you like your competition? I hope not! If so, how boring you must be! The key to having more customers is providing something that no one else does and doing it better. If there is nothing different about you, then why should I buy your product or service? Price? That’s not a good pricing model for most businesses. There is always going to be someone else out there that is willing to decrease their prices and go out of business faster than you (hopefully). Competing on price provides you very little opportunity to have a profitable business.

The key for having a profitable business is differentiation. That is what allows you to add value and receive compensation for it. Your business can not be successful over the long haul without profitability.

So what are 5 ways that you can differentiate yourself from your competition?

Write about what you do and help inform the public by publishing your articles or newsletters. It will increase your outreach and new customers will come to you for advice.

Be personable. People buy from people they like. So add your personal touch to the products and services that you provide and customers will be appreciative.

Do something out of the ordinary. Who says you have to do something like everyone else? What can you do that sets you apart? My example: I’m a business consultant who hosts a radio show targeted to my ideal audience. This is a way that I can help them learn more and introduce myself as a resource.

Be an active part of your community. Involve yourself with the community that is full of your potential buyers. It becomes a win-win situation when you work together to create success for all.

Specialize for your niche. A jack-of-all-trades may work for some, but it is usually not a good fit for most. With the amount of information that we have available to us today, it is difficult for an individual to be an expert on many things. So pick the one or two things that you enjoy and just dive into the information so that you will then be able to provide specialized information to your clients. People pay for knowledge…so gain it and you’ll be rewarded.

There are so many other ways that you can find your way through the wonderful world of business. The key is don’t just be ordinary…be extraordinary. You’ll then be rewarded with great customers and a profitable business. If there is nothing special about your product or service, then people will have no reason to return. Provide them with a memorable experience.

Setting goals are key to improving performance, but how often do people set goals then never measure them or quit halfway? A better way to approach goal-setting is to decide what your intentions are (i.e. what kind of performance you expect) and start from there.

According to Jeffrey Gitomer, “What you intend to do is what you actually do. Goals notwithstanding, it’s all about your intentions.”

In the world of personal growth and development, it’s generally accepted that goals and intentions are linked. Intentions actually precede goal setting. If you fall short of intention, or don’t focus on your intention, you are not likely to achieve the goal you set.

The same is true in the business world. Sometimes, the intention is so off the mark that the identified goals (and subsequent results) take business performance way off track. The best example of this I’ve ever seen was reported in the April 16, 2001 issue of FORTUNE magazine about Gateway Computer:

One policy put a time limit on customer service calls; reps who spent more than 13 minutes talking to a customer didn’t get their monthly bonuses. As a result, workers began doing just about anything to get customers off the phone: pretending the line wasn’t working, hanging up, or often–at great expense–sending them new parts or computers. Not surprisingly, Gateway’s customer satisfaction rates, once the best in the industry, fell below average. What’s more, many customers stopped recommending Gateway to their friends and families; Gateway’s referral business, once 50% of total sales, fell to about 30%

The intention was reducing call times, the goal was 13 minutes or less or no bonus. The result was painful!

You may have a goal for a training class, or you may have been given goals for training your workforce, but your intentions will dictate the job performance related to your training effort.

Be clear about your intentions for each training effort:

• Write down the performance intentions before you write the course goals.

• When creating a course, keep the intention in mind at all times. Ask the question “Does this [information, task, activity, exercise, etc.] lead to my performance intention?”

• For each course goal, make sure you can identify the content that addresses the goal.

• Finally, develop a method to confirm when the performance intention is fulfilled on the job.

Have you ever stopped and thought about why you got into business? What was the driving force behind your decision to lose the security blanket of having a regular paycheck, benefits and regular vacations? Do you lay awake at night, worried about how you are going to feed your family, the unresolved client issues, or just the stress of an employee upsetting one of your best clients? These are some of the questions entrepreneurs ask themselves on a regular basis when trying to figure out why they ever got into business for themselves.

When I decided it was time for me to take the plunge, and start my own IT consulting business, it was after many years of procrastination. My best clients encouraged and told me I had what it took. I knew I was ready when I experienced several nights of upset stomachs from worry. I was lacking the challenges that sparked my excitement in the position I held, so I invited a couple of other highly qualified technical experts, whom I trusted, to assist me with the business and we were off and running. I am an entrepreneur now at heart and always looking for the next opportunity.

Many business owners, are just like it is stated, in the E-Myth book by Michael Gerber and are always the constant technician. The reason they decided to get into business for themselves is because they figured out since they had a great technical skill or understood their jobs inside and out, it was a no brainer for them to attempt starting a business. They quickly learn there is more than doing the work. There are worries like getting clients, sending out invoices, doing taxes and account collections. All these are things new business owners do not truly forecast when they start out. When you stay in the technician role, you will never experience the true independence and flexibility entrepreneurial business owners are lucky to have.

Passion is one of the most important things an entrepreneur can have! With a true passion for your business, success will have a better chance of landing on your lap. I have met many business owners who do not have a passion for their business. I get the sense it is just a job to them. They are not free to practice vision exercises, risk analysis or just have fun in their business. “I enjoy teaching people how to live longer. I love seeing peoples’ health improve” states Magnus Mulliner of MT Energie.

In my old role, I was just a regular IT Consultant; I wasn’t the best technical person in the company. However, I possessed a great skill of being able to talk to clients in a simple language they understood, without confusing them with TLA’s or other technical jargon. This skill, combined with a technical understanding, led to increased sales, revenues and an ever increasing client base. The sales game came to me without much effort and it is the area of the company I am truly passionate about. The joy of seeing a client succeed or strike a huge find knowing the technology or solutions my Company put into place (or assisted them with), is truly amazing!

Many business owners quickly realize they need vision to grow their businesses. After a few years of being in business for myself, I realized it was time for me to steer the ship instead of rowing it. You can hire the rowers. I found all of my rowers were much better rowers than I could ever be, and my ship would move ahead much faster. With this new momentum in place, the ship just needs to be guided.

Having the ability to constantly improve my own education, having the freedom to do the things I like to do and understanding I am totally accountable for my own results is very powerful. It is important entrepreneurs learn to delegate the tasks they do not enjoy doing or are not good at and concentrate their efforts on what they do well and enjoy doing. This will guarantee results in your business. “Ownership has its privileges” states Ernie Sherman, President of Ottawa’s Harris Computer Services.

When I asked other small business, IT business owners and entrepreneurs if they would ever do this again, they all said YES. Some would continue in the same business line and others would move into something totally different like “buy a resort on a lake” says Doug Geary of GearyTech Inc, a Toronto based Microsoft Small Business Specialist Partner.

I met a single mom at a writer’s bootcamp. She regaled me with stories about writing books on frugal cooking, life inside a cult, a mystery novel, and romance novels. They were all different markets so I suggested she select a single topic – and spin off intermediate and high-end products – before jumping into another market.

The example I cited was Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling writes sequels and is raking in multi-millions of pounds in royalties from movies, DVDs, memorabilia, etc. The secret to her success is she returns to the Goose that Lays the Golden Egg.

Which was the opposite direction my writer friend took…

She was going lateral instead of deep. A costly mistake. She spread herself too thin. She wanted to launch too many business ideas without owning a successful single model.

Because she’s a writer, she wanted to write on various topics she was passionate about. Big mistake if she wanted to collect royalties and make a serious living. It will eventually become her achilles’ heel.

And that’s because the marketplace can’t decide what brand she brings to the table. It’s more profitable and rewarding to position herself in one area of expertise. Something she’ll be known for.

What happened next?

Her first paperback became a money pit. The e-zine she published went dysfunctional, and then revived—but is currently headed in ten different directions. Her website promoting her copywriting service was never completed.

Her mail order pillow business went the way of the dodo bird. Google has threatened to cancel her Adwords account. And she still wants to write on five other topics.

Do you notice a self-defeating pattern here?

Since you’re a top gun marketing student I know you won’t make these same mistakes. You and I want the best for our business and we can learn what not to do from others. We don’t have to repeat their mistakes…

To make millions in your enterprise you should first start with an existing market that you want to reach. It’s easier and cost-effective to work with a market that has proven it will pay for products and/or services.

Next: start off with a low-cost/no cost introductory product. This may seem like you’re losing money, but you’ll soon make it up with other products in your pipeline. New customers cost the most to acquire. Capture these new customers and build a relationship with them.

Then market mid-priced products to them. Continue building your relationship and capturing more customers.

And then offer high-end products and continue developing your relationship. Better yet, offer all three product lines to them at the same time. People love choices—so create a bronze, silver, and gold package for your customers to select.

Next: promote outside products or services through joint venture deals – where you can capture more clients. Continue edifying your relationship.

You’re quickly becoming the one source your customers trust and confidently buy from. One whom they will promote by word-of-mouth to their friends, colleagues, and business partners.

Notify them about upcoming seminars or teleconferences that you conduct. Produce product demonstrations and tutorials on video for your website. Recommend your resources each time you communicate.

And then create one or more luxury products or services in the four-, five- or six-figure range. This will position you as a Jedi Knight in your field of expertise.

Using this single business model – you can make millions in your business by going deep, rather than lateral. Apparently, it’s a model most small- to mid-sized business owners never attempt.

If an author does well selling a $20 paperback, she decides to release more $20 paperbacks. Hoping the following books will do as well. In the meantime, her fans are dying to own or experience mid- and high-end products from their new favorite novelist. Which never materializes.

But this won’t happen to you…

Because you now realize the common mistake most small businesses make: Lateral Thinking. Find a niche market you are totally passionate about, create a database and provide services or products to them forever.

Have you ever been sailing on a beautiful summer’s day, the wind perfect, the water ideal? But when you look around, you notice there were a number of other sailboats, with their sails as full as yours, but some are much faster, and you feel like you are standing still!

You look around and find your anchor is running along the bottom of the marina. You were still moving forward, but no where near the speed as the other sailboats out that day.

Is this happening to your business? Are your sails full of great opportunities? Is your competition passing you by? Does your business lack the momentum to get you out to the open water?

Many businesses are dragging their anchor. What do I mean by “dragging their anchor”? This anchor can refer to employees who just don’t have what is takes to be successful in your business line or are the type of employee who brings down the rest of the team. The anchor stops or slows down your momentum in your company.

Having employees on your team who consistently challenge the corporation in a positive manner is a good thing! They keep your company competitive in the marketplace. However having an employee or group of employees who weigh down your company in a negative manner, is something you need to act upon.

Negative employees can knock the wind out of your company’s sails! The team members who fill your company’s sails daily, with great ideas and forward momentum will soon become tired and lack the energy, required to move your sailboat forward. Eventually these same employees will find an easier boat to blow their powerful wind into, while your anchors will continue to slow down your progress.

Many organizations continue to work on developing their anchors instead of harvesting the wind that blows into their sails. Anchors will always be anchors, and they may have moments of promise in transforming into a sail, BUT the trend is, they almost always revert back to being an anchor. A good read on this topic is a book titled “If You Don’t Make Waves, You’ll Drown” by Dave Anderson. One of the book’s lessons is, many of today’s leaders spend the majority of their time on the non-performers, instead of their performers. Again, continuing with this practice will have your performers looking for another stage to perform on.

Can you imagine a sailboat with no sails and all anchors? Business owners need to remove the anchors or at least secure your anchors onto your sailboat and focus on the sails in your organization. Sails do not need a lot of effort, however, they do need attention, regular support, and care.

Harvest the winds in your company so you can have full sails to allow you to compete in the marketplace and keep pace, ahead of your competition.

In The Light Touch, Malcolm L. Kushner tells the story
of Adelle Roberts, a police officer called to the scene of a
domestic disturbance. As she approached the house, a TV came
flying out a window. She knocked loudly to be heard over the
yelling.

“Who is it?” an angry male voice snarled.

“TV repairman,” Roberts replied.

The man burst into laughter, and opened the door. She
probably wouldn’t have gotten quite that response if she’d
said, “Police.”

Humor’s effectiveness in diffusing anger and breaking
down resistance can be particularly important in today’s work
environment. In one study, 49 percent of the respondents said
they’re usually at least a little angry on the job. Forty-
nine percent say they are usually angry.

I’ve known salespeople who have walked into businesses
and been threatened with guns. Some of them deserved it.
Though that’s carrying sales resistance to an extreme. The
hostility managers face is usually more veiled. Usually.

Tip: Nobody is going to shoot you while they’re
laughing.

Tip: Long after people have forgotten what was said,
they’ll remember how they felt about the person who said it.

Self deprecating humor is also a great way for
executives and managers to put themselves on the same level
as their subordinates. It shows they can take a joke, that
they too put their pants or their pantyhose on one leg at a
time.

When Jack Kennedy wanted to defuse the issue of his
family’s wealth, he told everyone he’d just gotten a telegram
from his father. “Dear Jack,” he read, “Don’t buy one more
vote than necessary. I’ll be damned if I’ll pay for a
landslide.”

A new manager was obligated to post a lengthy list of
rules right after being promoted to the position: hardly the
best rapport builder. He posted the list all right, but he
signed it at the bottom, “A. Hitler, Gruppenfuehrer.” His
superior snatched it off the wall as, “inappropriate.”
Perhaps. But by then everyone had already seen it.

“We’d read the rules,” one worker reports. “We figured
the ‘Gruppenfuehrer’ was going to enforce them. We knew the
iron fist was there, and we appreciated that he’d stuck it in
a velvet glove and used it to poke a little fun at himself.
Otherwise we’d have seen it as a new guy coming in and
throwing his weight around.”
Another mid-level manager had a grumpy looking doll
with a tape recorder inside that he’d programmed to say, “Get
your mangy butts back on the job and stop wasting the
company’s time.” The doll would deliver the message whenever
the manager decided it was needed. People took the hint, and
nobody was offended.

Walk the Elephant

If you’re trying to make the job fun for your people,
watch out for simply foisting your own concept of fun on
them. One supervisor created dissention by scattering candy
dishes around an office where most of the employees were
trying to diet. She had Muzak pumped in, and everyone hated
the music she selected. Then she decided to fill the office
with motivational banners, and insisted that everyone
contribute a saying. This, at least, was fun for one person.
The last time I was there, his inspiration message still hung
proudly by the main entrance: “Walk the elephant and pitch to
the giraffe.”

You may not find that inspirational. You may even find
it confusing, if you don’t recognize it as the answer to the
ancient philosophical question: “What do you do with an
elephant with three balls?”

You walk the elephant and pitch to the giraffe. Let
that be an inspiration to us all.

Before one of my keynotes, an attendee who introduced himself as Mr. Lansdorf asked me, “What can I do about working for a corporation full of stiffs?” In spite of the fact that the company paid quite well, Mr. Lansdorf’s people never performed the way he hoped they would when he hired them. His co-workers weren’t much better. As for his boss, “He couldn’t care less about my problems. He’d like to be able to forget about my whole department.”

“So what exactly do you want?” I asked.

“What I’d like is for people to do the job they’re supposed to do–the way they’re supposed to do it.”

“Which means?” I asked.

“To do something beyond the minimum–to go the extra mile for the company. Everybody expects something for nothing.”

“Don’t you?”

“Hey, I earn my money,” Mr. Lansdorf insisted. “I go way beyond the minimum.”

“And it gets you?”

“Nothing, that’s the point. It gets me nothing.”

“So how long are you going to keep doing that?”

“Not much longer, believe me.”

“But you want others to go beyond the minimum–without putting something it in for them? Aren’t you the one who’s expecting for something for nothing?”

“I want people to do what they should do.”

“So what we’re talking about is morality and ethics? What people should do?”

“Exactly.” he said.

“So as a manager, your ability to manage is based upon people doing what they should do? Otherwise you can’t get the results you want?”

“No of course not. Nobody does what they should. At least nobody in my company.”

“So wouldn’t you be better off trying to find a way to get the results you need with the people you’ve got rather than the perfect people who do what they should and apparently don’t exist. Or at least don’t exist in your company?”

“Obviously.”

Obviously. Bingo! I thought. I felt like Socrates: elucidating my point with just the right questions. Of course later someone reminded me of the famous report given by a third-grader: “Socrates was a Greek philosopher who went around giving people advice. They poisoned him.” So much for the Socratic method.

Obviously, Lansdorf said. If it was so obvious why had he been asking his people to go the extra mile when there was really no advantage in it for them? Even if they went along in order to stay on his good side, how enthusiastic would they be?

You Can’t Sell an Empty Glass

Why do we all so frequently act like Mr. Lansdorf? Trish asks her boss to go out of his way for her and help get her promoted. There’s nothing in it for him. If anything, losing Trish will make his job more difficult. He’s a nice guy. He may help her. But wouldn’t he go along far more willingly if he was doing it to gain another ally in management; or to earn points with the company for having developed another manager; or to free up Trish’s spot so he can reward–and keep from losing–that great new talent he’s been grooming on the rung below hers.

It’s obvious: you can’t sell anybody anything if you don’t offer them some benefit. You can’t motivate anyone by offering them an empty glass. It’s obvious—and we all forget it. Constantly. We hope ethics or morality or religion or character will make up for the lack of incentive.

Does your idea of character tell you that when there’s little or nothing in it for you that you should devote yourself unstintingly to providing for someone else’s welfare? If so please call, I’ve got a job for you.

Tip: If I believe that playing by your rules, systems, procedures, traditions or morality guarantees that I’m going to lose, do not expect me to play by them.

Bosses who tell you they can’t hire good workers are usually telling you they’re poor bosses. They’re telling you they aren’t providing sufficient incentive for people to meet their standards. Or if they have provided the incentive, they haven’t provided sufficient nuts and bolts, real-world training and direction, leaving their people wanting to climb the mountain but without a clear enough trail to follow. To mix metaphors a bit, they aren’t adding enough water to the glass.